Mothers' Day 2016

Just wanted to digitize some of the things the kids wrote to me for Mother's Day.

From Levi:
What is your mom really good at? cooking
What does your mom do to relax? sleep
Where does your mom shop? Shoprite
How old is your mom? 29
What is your mom's job? Takes care of me
What do you love most about your mom? That she cooks the best spagetti
If you could buy you mom anything, what would it be? a book
What does you mom do while you are in school? play with my sister.
(written inside of a heart) Always in my heart! Love Levi
My mom is a Star Because... She cleans up
My mom is sweet because... she loves me
My mom is...beautiful
My mom is...smart
My mom is...the best

My mom is...nice

My mom is...a good cook

My mom is... a good singer

The funnest part of getting these two little cards from him was his adorable face beaming up at me and the way he jumped up and down with excitement as I read. Also how he read for me when I couldn't quite read what he had written. :) 

From Benjamin:

My mom is...from Arizona

My mom is...a normal human

My mom is...happy

My mom is...good

My mom is...mostly likely to receive celestial

My mom is...not mad

p.s. open the pettles 

These were flower cards, with something written under each petal. 

When I read "my mom is not mad" Benjamin laughed and said, "See? You're not mad!" It was so funny. Especially because so many of his other petals were very factual, he thought it was very clever to say I was not mad and have it be true in the moment that I was reading the card. Also it's good to know that he thinks I'm headed for celestial glory, hahaha. :)

Jacob took some silly pictures of us on Mother's Day, while I was teaching the kids how to play Scorched Earth. Ah, the games of my childhood, now available free online. :-D

Benjamin Talk

B: mom could we have a pet dolphin?
A: ooh, that would be fun!
B: yes, or no. [This is his thing lately, he wants and immediate yes or no answer to questions.]
A: No.
B: why?
A: We don't have a place for a pet dolphin to live.
B: oooh. i know, we could get one from the store!
A: one what?
B: a pool! so we could keep it and let it swim! if it likes hot water, then it could swim in hot water. if it likes cold water then we could play, it could swim in cold water. That's what I guess. And could we play angry birds on the computer mommy?
A: yes.
B: so could we do it right now.
A: yes.
B: ok then let's do it!
(If you couldn't tell, I was transcribing that conversation as it happened.)


B: Are we in outer space?
A: No, we're on earth.
B: Are we inside the earth?
A: No, we're on the earth's surface.
B: Is earth is in space?
A: That's right.
B: So I think we are in space.
A: I think you're right.



Benjamin: When will we need a minivan?
Alysa: When we have more people in our family.
Benjamin: Yeah, then we will need a dery dery big minivan?
Alysa: (smiling) Yep.
Benjamin: For mini-people?
Alysa: thinks Yep! :D
Benjamin: Am I a mini-person?
Alysa: Yes!
Benjamin: Just like Minnie's Boutique!



B: Mommy can I have a Sunburst?
A: You mean a Starburst?
B: Yeah.
A: They're kind of sugary...
B: Can I just have one?


Talking Mater toy: "Tow Mater: Average Intelligence."
Benjamin: "Tow Mater! African television."

This week on Everead

I dig for my own book review fossils and find a good one.

I review Midnight in Austenland -- sooo worth your time.

I link to some fun stuff. 

Bedtime Discipline Plan and a game for Snow Days

Indoor Standing Long Jump

First, the game. It was born on a rainy day not too long ago. For some reason or another I had the masking tape out. Benjamin was jumping around, literally. And -- inspiration! We marked where he started from and how far he could jump with the masking tape on the carpet. An active, indoor game with super easy cleanup! Extensions: indoor hopscotch! mazes! roads for cars!

Benjamin's Bedtime Discipline Plan 

If there was one thing I learned from getting a degree in Elementary Education, it was how to write a darn good discipline plan. Here's ours, to be implemented tomorrow night:

Teach intrinsic motivation:

• Your body needs good food and good sleep in order to have energy and be strong.
• When you begin to yawn, your limbs begin to ache, etc. your body is feeling like it wants to go to bed and rest.
• When you wake in the morning and you feel happy, and your body has energy then you know you got a good night's sleep.
• You can lay in bed before you feel tired, to help your body begin resting.

Supplement with extrinsic motivation (positive reinforcements and positive punishments):

• When you get in bed you get a sticker.
• When you stay in bed all night you get a treat in the morning (new card, piece of candy, extra book, etc.)
• If you come out of bed you get a yellow light posted on your door.  If you come out of bed again, you get a red light. If you come out another time, you get a sad face on your bedtime chart. All other days (from treat to yellow light) get a happy face.
• When you earn a predetermined number of happy faces, you earn a big treat (new toy, new book, an outing, a special food, etc.) 

Negative punishments (meaning punishments that take something away, i.e. "give me back the sticker," rather than giving something i.e. "here is a yellow light") don't seem to work well for Benjamin, at least at bedtime. If we try to take something away from him, it starts a huge fit. Counterproductive. 

Now. We'll see how this works out. Can his stubborness withstand the warm calculations of a mother who paid attention in her child psychology class? Only time will tell...

Wish us luck, feel free to pray for us (goodness knows we all need more sleep around here, including Levi who gets woken up by huge fits). 

xoxo

Alysa

I Chose This

I've been thinking about my current occupation for quite some time now.

Mother
Homemaker
Housewife
Stay-at-home-mom
Home Executive

Whatever you want to call it. I've been thinking about it. So I've had lots of thoughts about it, and one of them is this:

I chose this.

I'm really, really glad that I have chosen it, too. I'm not "not working" or "unemployed" for lack of a paying job. I am living my dream. I'm not here, doing the work at home -- the thrilling work of home and the mundane work of home -- because someone else told me I should be, but because I want to be.

Two items for your consideration:

1. As a conscientious young person in my senior year of high school, I had put some thought into what field of study I would like to pursue post-high-school. College, I felt, was a given. After some soul searching and number crunching, I decided that the best immediate course of action -- the one most likely to both earn me a living and fulfill me in a deeper way -- was to obtain a degree in education.

As our graduation approached, David, one of those friends in high school who was more than an acquaintance but not a close friend, asked me, "So, what're you going to study?"

"Elementary Education." I said.

"What?!" He was incredulous. "You're wasting your brain!"

Now I was incredulous.

"You could be a rocket scientist!"

"Yeah," I said, "but I don't want to be a rocket scientist."

I can't tell you how many times I've re-lived that conversation. Is it one's moral obligation to become a rocket scientist, if one can? (I submit No.) Is it a "waste" of a great mind to use it educating other minds? What about young minds? Minds so young they might not even remember how they were influenced?

And what, pray tell, would David have said if I had told him that my plan for a large portion of my life was to be a mother? A homemaker?


2. Just tonight I finished reading Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder. Fabulous book. But one phrase I read yesterday still rankles, a little bit. Kidder is describing the background of Jim Kim, a major player in the book. Kidder clearly has great respect for Kim's mother, and describes how educated, how cultured she was:

Jim's mother had come from South Korea--a grandfather had served as a minister to the last Korean king--and she had studied at Union Theological Seminary with Reinhold Niebuhr and Paul Tillich and become a Confucian scholar, and ended up for many years a housewife in Muscatine.  A small, elegant woman . . . At every opportunity she took Jim and his siblings to Des Moines and Chicago so they'd know the world was larger than it seemed from Muscatine. She taught her three children, by example, the arts of debate around the kitchen table, while her husband, who had early morning appointments, went to bed grumbling that he didn't know what they had to talk about that was more important than a good night's sleep. She'd tell them to live "as if for eternity" and tutor them on current events, translating for Jim the images of famine and war that upset him on the TV news.

She sounds like a lovely woman. Like someone I could relate to.

Here's the bit that bothers me, in the writing: "ended up for many years a housewife."  Ended up. Accidentally. Unfortunately. For many years. Just for a while though. Not her whole life. Like she would rise above housewifery again, later.

Am I reading too much into this?

Is it really so unbelievable that Kim's mother would "become a Confucian scholar and [choose to be a housewife] for many years"?

I think not. Because I chose this. I choose it every day. Just like you choose your job, every day, whatever that job may be.

Mother's

We all belong to a mother.

When I became a mother, I felt accepted into a worldwide sisterhood. I went out with my newborn and women would stop me to look at him and would share glimpses of their own experiences with motherhood: how many children they had, little bits of advice that revealed in some small way the things that they had experienced as mothers. Smiles. An extra hand that held the door or the receipt I was supposed to sign since my other hand was occupied.

At first, this reception surprised me. People who never would have spoken to me were talking to me now. And then, as I thought about it, I was amazed. Because here is the thing: everyone here on earth, all the billions and billions of people had been born.

And that got me thinking about birth, and how much work it takes to give birth, to deliver a child, to be born. And how miraculous and awesome it is that so many people were born! And so many women gave birth! It is astounding.

I know a lot of mothers. I always have. As a child I knew my mothers and my aunts and my grandmothers and my friends mothers and other mothers in my church or community. Now, as a mother, I know even more mothers, and more intimately. And yet, there are SO MANY mothers that I don't even know! That I've never seen! Whose names I've never heard! Whose names I probably would mispronounce if I tried to say them.  

And so many more women, young women, and girls are future mothers! It boggles my mind, and I love it.

I love motherhood. I feel extraordinarily lucky in motherhood.

First, that I became a mother on my own terms -- accompanied by a husband I love so dearly, and at the time in my life when I wanted to start a family. I didn't have the jolt that an unexpected pregnancy must bring, or the drawn out stretching of having to wait to become pregnant. Or any of the million other scenarios and ways there are to become a mother that would have been less than ideal to me.

Second, that in motherhood I am fulfilling my dreams. I was taught from a young age, by my church and more importantly by my sincere and loving parents, that to be a mother is a holy calling. I learned that mothers must nurture and protect their children, guide them as they grow, let them fail when necessary. I learned that God was very interested in mothers, and in helping them raise children. That, at any time, a mother could call on Him for help and expect miracles. I was explicitly prepared in my youth for motherhood. I learned how to change diapers and entertain children. How to teach them and how to discipline them with love.  I practiced on my younger siblings and on children that I babysat. And, because I was given such instruction and practice, I knew that motherhood was a path I wanted to pursue.

I love being a mother.  One day, a few months (weeks? time then is fuzzy) after Benjamin was born, I said to Jacob, "I think I love being a mother. Because I loved being a student, and motherhood is way better." Or something like that, anyway.  Isn't that how life is? We all have different lives, and different experiences and who knows what life will bring until it has arrived.

Anyway, these are just a few of my thoughts at one moment in my life. Happy Mothers' Day.

Imagine that...

The scene is the master bedroom. Benjamin is jumping on the bed, flapping stiff arms.
Benjamin: Benj'in flying like a bird!
Jacob:...Yeah, you're flying like a penguin!

The scene is the living room.  Benjamin perches on the arms of a green Bumbo baby seat.
Benjamin: Benj'in standing a tree!
(In a tree? On a tree? Like a tree? Your guess is as good as mine.)

The scene is Benjamin's bedroom.  He has wedged himself into the space his stuffed animals occupy, between the bed and the wall. 
Benjamin: Benj'in live in a palace!
Alysa: You live in a palace?
Benjamin: A pretend palace!

In short, Benjamin appears to be exercising his imagination.

He has also started saying "because."  It sounds like "na-cuz."  Toddlers are known for asking "why, why, why" and when Benjamin enters this phase I won't be surprised.  We often ask him, "Why did you do that? Why, why, why?"

Accidental Poetry

Occasionally a poem pops out of my head during journal writing.  Usually late at night, when my guard is down.  Here is last night's:

Can't do enough in a day,
Ain't got no time for play,
Already forgot what I was going to say,
That's what it's like to be me today.

I'm sure there are some days when you can relate.

Edited to add: Mahaha! My brother has made this into a song.  Accompanied on the banjolele he got last week! It is awesome!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FL0RHEwqiYI

Distraction

Sometimes, I love distraction.  It serves me well as a mother: "while I read this to you, let's get dressed!" "You got a bonk, poor guy. Look! A dog!"

This morning, however, I was the one distracted. Watching this lovely little video, in fact.  The consequence?  I had to vacuum granola out of my bed.

So, you know, just check to make sure the granola is put away before you watch.



(Thanks to Laini for posting the video to begin with.)

The End of a Regime

My benevolent dictatorship has ended. This morning, when I asked Benjamin if he wanted to do something, he said, "nah." He used to say "uh-huh" to my every suggestion. *sigh* Those days are gone. But it did save me some time this morning when I thought he wanted a snack. I asked him if he wanted a cracker and he said nah, waving his hand in typical get-that-away-from-me fashion. He is now able to mentally grasp the abstract cracker! And understand his relationship to it! We are definitely progressing.

All the Mommy Ladies (Put a Bib On It)

After breakfast this morning I had this running through my head. I neglected to put a bib on Benjamin, and so this parody of Beyonce's "All the Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)" was born.

(No, this is not Benjamin. This picture was yoinked from Google images.)

All the married ladies (yeah with little babies)
All the mommy ladies (all the mommy ladies)
All the mommy ladies (yeah with little babies)
All the married ladies throw your hands up (up)

Up in the chair (chair)
Food in my hair (hair)
Everybody notice me.

I'm gonna spill (spill)
Yeah that's the drill (drill)
Y'know that's how it's gonna be.

Cuz if you like it then you shoulda put a bib on it,
If you like it then you shoulda put a bib on it,
Don't be mad at the mess, don't stress
If you like it then you shoulda put a bib on it.

Wha-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Wha-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh